Gifts of love have been arriving at my house, McD's office, and in our post office box ever since I announced that I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I haven't posted about them because honestly, I am speechless.
I've received so many nice things from people I hope to meet one day, but only know through this crazy blogging twitter land that we've all grown addicted to. And I love each and every gift I've received. Please know this!
Another reason I haven't posted about all the gifts is because I don't want people to think I am asking for gifts.
The other day I received this box in the mail.
My hands shook as I cut the massive amounts of tape it was sealed with. My eyes were tearing up, but there were people around and I knew that if I cried they would cry. We were standing in McD's office, and believe you me, if anyone would've walked in then they would've started crying too and we just didn't need that kind of drama.
Does chemo make a person emotional? I've never been so emotional in all my life. Seriously!
The reason I became emotional as soon as I saw the box is because it was from Sarah's husband. Remember Sarah? Spruce Hill Farm? @Sprucehillfarm for all you twitter folk out there.
Sarah was a woman that I grew to love over the internet. She was fighting cancer and telling us all about it. She was sharing her ups and downs with us, but mostly her ups. She shared recipes, photos, and her family with us. She was fighting this beast with all her might, but making it sound so easy.
When I was diagnosed she was one of the first people I told. I felt like I needed her to tell me what to do, what questions to ask, what to expect, how to feel, etc. It might seem silly, but I that is how I felt. I had others I could ask, but she was going through all of this now and some of the ladies I know hadn't gone through chemo in almost 20 years (Swampy).
Oh, let's get back to the box.
After opening the box, I found these lying right on top. You have no idea how hard I was fighting back the tears. Don't get me wrong, my eyes were tear filled. So much so that my vision was getting blurry. When I looked up at my friend, Ali, her's were filling up too. Then I looked at McD and even he was getting choked up. SHHHH!! Don't tell him I told you.
Oh, and chocolate! Her husband was so sweet to think to send me a piece of the Celebration of Sarah's Life. I wasn't able to make it to the actual Celebration in June. The chocolate was left over from the chocolate fountain. You know those little discs of chocolate that they melt, and it just flows through the fountain. It was that kind of chocolate. Right now, that chocolate is sitting in my refrigerator waiting for Stef and I to have our own little Celebration of Sarah's Life.
I closed the box.
Ali and I went home; she was driving me that day. It's not that I can't drive, but that day I wanted a driver.
As soon as we got home I opened the box again. I needed to find one of her bandanas. It was a need, one of those where you can't do anything else until you fulfill that need.
And I did, I found it and I started fighting back the tears all over again.
I can't thank Paul enough for this gift. I believe Sarah is looking down on us, and now she will be able to pick me out of a crowd with ease.